Tag: blog

Tony meltdowns: A memoir

I’m going to try to be funny, but I can’t promise anything because I can’t stop crying. I cried five minutes ago making notes for this column.  Maybe that’s funny to you. I’m a mess and I need cake.

I’ve been crying about the Tonys every day for the past week. The Tony Awards recognize the greatest achievements of the Broadway season. Some have said the Tonys are like the Super Bowl for theatre nerds. I can’t comment on the accuracy of that comparison because I’m not familiar with the Super Bowl.

I am vaguely aware of Super Bowl commercials and the fact that a minute of advertising time costs millions of dollars because ratings are so high. So I guess the Tonys are not like the Super Bowl at all—ratings for the Tonys are laughably low and every few years executives threaten to pull the telecast from network television. PBS could pick it up, but then Republicans would threaten to defund PBS just to block my gay rights.

I do know that a Super Bowl trophy can’t help you get an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony).

I’ve mostly been crying because of “Kinky Boots,” a new musical about a drag queen named Lola (Billy Porter) who reinvigorates a shoe factory with sparkling stilettos. Based on that plot description, I avoided the show while in New York for spring break with my mother and aunt. They were perplexed. The flashy billboards all over Times Square boasted a creative collaboration between esteemed playwright Harvey Fierstein and pop-rock sensation Cyndi Lauper.

One afternoon my mother came right out and said, “I walked by the theatre where ‘Kinky Boots’ is playing. Why aren’t we seeing that?”

“Oh, trust me, it’s not going to do well,” I said.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a lesson in why you should only trust me sometimes. “Kinky Boots” now has the most Tony nominations of the season, 13 in total, and is a major contender for Best Musical, the night’s top prize.

The Tony campaign for “Kinky Boots” has been vigorous and tugs at the heartstrings. My heartstrings are no exception, resulting in tears of regret, shame, and sorrow for not seeing it when I had the chance.

Every time I went to broadwayworld.com this week, the same “Kinky Boots” ad would pop up and I would cry because: a) I can’t stand that the guy doing the voiceover emphasizes the wrong syllable of “Kinky” at the beginning of the video and b) I pompously thought the musical was unworthy of my time.  I hadn’t even heard a full song from the show, yet the ad left me sobbing uncontrollably, a part of me hoping that “Kinky Boots” would sweep the Tonys even though I actually saw (and loved) its strongest competitor, “Matilda.”

Let me be clear: I am not an authority on the Tony Awards. I’ve only seen three of the nominated productions. The rest is merely (obsessive) conjecture. First I saw “Matilda,” based on Roald Dahl’s classic novel. With a book by Dennis Kelly and score by Tim Minchin, the musical tells the story of a five-year-old girl who loves books and mischief, but the adults in her life try to stifle her intelligence. Four actresses alternate in the title role (I saw the dynamite Milly Shapiro), and tonight they will receive Special Achievement Tony Awards for their performances.

While reviews for “Kinky Boots” were only lukewarm, critics loved “Matilda.” New York Times theatre critic Ben Brantley called it “the most satisfying and subversive musical ever to come out of Britain.”

In an attempt to compare the two musicals, I listened to the cast recording of “Kinky Boots” since many consider Cyndi Lauper’s score the show’s strongest element. I was underwhelmed. Maybe all the hype has to do with Jerry Mitchell’s direction and choreography, but I found nothing in Lauper’s songs particularly brilliant. Tim Minchin’s music and lyrics for “Matilda” are much more substantive and sophisticated.

The other two nominated productions I saw were both plays. Christopher Durang’s “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike” is a family comedy about three middle-aged siblings whose parents named them after Chekov characters. Hilarity ensues when Masha (Sigourney Weaver), a B-list movie star, returns home for a visit, yet there is great heart and depth amongst the chaos of this farce. Kristine Nielsen’s uproarious turn as Sonia should earn her the Tony for Best Actress in a Play, but she will probably lose to veteran Cicely Tyson in “The Trip to Bountiful.”

Tom Hanks will likely take the Tony for Best Actor in a Play for his Broadway debut in longtime pal Nora Ephron’s play “Lucky Guy.” The play was an utter disappointment for me, even though I desperately wanted to love it. Ephron, one of my favorite writers, died last summer and “Lucky Guy” is her final completed work. A bio-play about controversial tabloid journalist Mike McAlary (Hanks), “Lucky Guy” is a tribute to New York City and the dying form of print journalism, two of Ephron’s greatest loves. Unfortunately, she tried to infuse journalism in the structure of the play, telling us the story via a chorus of reporters instead of showing us the action. The technique proved boring and the entire play suffered as a result.

Voters could go the sentimental route and award Ephron a posthumous Tony, but her problematic script makes this highly doubtful. Expect Christopher Durang to nab Best Play instead, or even Richard Greenberg for his complex drama “The Assembled Parties.”

Here’s a summary of who will probably get each award, who I think should get it and who might surprise us and take it home.

Best Play

Will Win: Christopher Durang, “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”

Should Win: Christopher Durang, “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”

Possible Upset: Richard Greenberg, “The Assembled Parties”

Best Musical

Will Win: “Matilda”

Should Win: “Matilda”

Possible Upset: “Kinky Boots”

Best Revival of a Play

Will Win: “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

Should Win: “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

Possible Upset: “The Trip to Bountiful”

Best Revival of a Musical

Will Win: “Pippin”

Should Win: “Pippin”

Best Book of a Musical

Will Win: Dennis Kelly, “Matilda”

Should Win: Dennis Kelly, “Matilda”

Possible Upset: Harvey Fierstein, “Kinky Boots”

Best Original Score

Will Win: Cyndi Lauper, “Kinky Boots”

Should Win: Tim Minchin, “Matilda”

Possible Upset: Tim Minchin, “Matilda”

Best Direction of a Play

Will Win: George C. Wolfe, “Lucky Guy”

Should Win: Nicholas Martin, “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”

Possible Upset: Pam MacKinnon, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

Best Direction of a Musical

Will Win: Diane Paulus, “Pippin”

Should Win: Diane Paulus, “Pippin”

Possible Upset: Matthew Warchus, “Matilda”

I didn’t realize how hot this race was until I looked up the nominees for this category! “Matilda” was one of the most magical nights of my theatergoing life, but based on video clips alone, Diane Paulus deserves a Lifetime Achievement Award for her reconceived, circus-themed revival of “Pippin.” Here’s another clip to show you what I mean:

Best Actor in a Play

Will Win: Tom Hanks, “Lucky Guy”

Should Win: Tom Hanks, “Lucky Guy”

Possible Upset: Nathan Lane, “The Nance”

Best Actress in a Play

Will Win: Cicely Tyson, “The Trip to Bountiful”

Should Win: Kristine Nielsen, “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”

Possible Upset: Amy Morton, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

Actor in a Musical

Will Win: Billy Porter, “Kinky Boots”

Should Win: Bertie Carvel, “Matilda”

Possible Upset: Bertie Carvel, “Matilda”

Best Actress in a Musical

Will Win: Patina Miller, “Pippin”

Should Win: Patina Miller, “Pippin”

Possible Upset: Laura Osnes, “Cinderella”

Best Featured Actor in a Play

Will Win: Danny Burstein, “Golden Boy”

Should Win: Danny Burstein, “Golden Boy”

Possible Upset: Courtney B. Vance, “Lucky Guy”

This is Danny Burstein’s fourth Tony nomination, and he deserves this one solely for losing last year for “Follies.”

Best Featured Actress in a Play

Will Win: Judith Light, “The Assembled Parties”

Should Win: Judith Light, “The Assembled Parties”

Possible Upset: Shalita Grant, “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”

Though I loved Shalita Grant’s performance, Judith Light (“Who’s the Boss” and “Ugly Betty”) is poised to win her second consecutive Tony in this category.  I cried for her last year and I’ll cry for her again.

Best Featured Actor in in a Musical

Will Win: Terrance Mann, “Pippin”

Should Win: Gabriel Ebert, “Matilda”

Possible Upset: Gabriel Ebert, “Matilda”

Best Featured Actress in a Musical

Will Win: Andrea Martin, “Pippin”

Should Win: Andrea Martin, “Pippin”

Andrea Marin, best known as crazy Aunt Voula in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” is set to win her second Tony for her role as Pippin’s grandmother, Berthe. In her six-word Tony nomination story, which can been seen here on Facebook, she writes, “never too late to start living!” Weeps people.  Weeps.

The Tonys will air live tonight, Sunday, June 9 on CBS at 8 p.m. eastern. For my live blog of the telecast, follow @ryanjhaddad on Twitter or weepingonwheels.tumblr.com.

Will you still love me even though my screenplay is horrible? A review of Jeff Nichols’s “Mud”

Trying to decide what movie to see last week, my friend and I were left with few options.  I am not a Trekkie.  I don’t do superheroes.  I love Robert Downey Jr., but not when he ‘s covered in iron.  And while I adore Jay Gatsby, I cannot bring myself to watch his demise for a third time in three weeks.

I can’t handle that Gatsby has more beautiful shirts in his bedroom-within-a-closet than I could fit in my entire house.

I can’t handle that I’m attracted to Tom Buchanan even though he’s an absolute tool.

I can’t handle that a poorly timed summer release has cost Leonardo DiCaprio his long-overdue Oscar.

I can’t handle that I am so much like Gatsby, always reaching for the unattainable green light CGIed at the end of the dock.

We settled on “Mud” starring Matthew McConaughey and Reese Witherspoon (well, not starring Reese Witherspoon).  I knew nothing about this movie.  I presumed it was a small-scale indie getting a (sort of) wide release because of the names attached.  Cinematic offerings are generally devoid of intellect in the summer months, so I was hungry for even the tiniest morsel of something truly good.

Last summer I went into “Beasts of the Sothern Wild” knowing absolutely nothing and emerged drowning in a sea of tears.  The masterful meditation on nature and youth took me by surprise, and from the first shots of “Mud”—two young boys riding down a river—it seemed the two films might be similar.

The boys, Ellis and Neckbone (yes, that is his name), stop on what appears to be a deserted island and climb up to what appears to be an abandoned boat hoisted in the branches of a tree.

A boat in a tree.  How did this boat get to the top of this tree?  Who put it there?  Did the person swim off the island?  Did this person drown?  Did this person disappear into the ground?  These questions do not enter the boys’ minds as they rummage through porn magazines in the magical boat.

I can already tell that the five-year-old girl in “Beasts of the Southern Wild” is smarter than both of these boys combined, and they’re more than twice her age.  The actors, Tye Sheridan as Ellis and Jacob Lofland as Neckbone, are strong, but the same cannot be said for the material they’re given. Things are going downhill quickly.

Suddenly Ellis notices a bag of recently purchased food in the boat and exclaims, “Somebody lives here!”

So they leave. Not because they’ve just broken into someone’s boat, but because “it takes twice as long to ride upstream” and they can’t be late getting home. Oh. Okay.

But then—surprise! They find eerie boot prints in the sand and discover the mysterious Boat Man standing on the shore, eyeing their boat.  Boat Man is Matthew McConaughey, and his name is actually Mud.

Mud, as a name, lies somewhere between Boat Man and Neckbone in terms of plausibility.  We never learn why he is called Mud, but covered-in-dirt-because-why-bother-to-bathe-in-the-river McConaughey lives up to the name. Though he makes a valiant effort to disappear into his character through all the grime and sloppy speech, he is still Matthew McConaughey, gorgeous as ever, much more so here than in last year’s Magic Mike, a movie better-suited for his attractiveness.

We are introduced to Mud via a technique used too often in writer-director Jeff Nichols’s screenplay: putting together characters who’ve never met and throwing buckets of exposition at the audience. With no apparent creativity, we are spoon-fed character backstory and description, left with nothing to glean for ourselves about the people onscreen. Intellect? What intellect?

Mud asks the kids to bring him back food, and they do. They don’t ask him why he’s on the island, how he plans to get back to the mainland, or why they should help him; they just accept a promise for his boat-in-a-tree in exchange for their assistance. Sometimes Ellis rides out to Mud by himself in the middle of the night, which doesn’t appear any less stupid in the movie than it sounds here. We’re meant to infer that Ellis is endearingly innocent, but it’s difficult to root for a protagonist who just seems dumb.

Not only is a boat Ellis’s main source of transportation, but he lives on one, too. The houseboat is a major component of his father’s livelihood, but his mother, who technically owns the property, wants it torn down so she can move into town because she “needs a change.” Literally, that’s all the justification she gives for breaking up her family. Ellis expresses his angst by slamming doors and punching walls, all the while riding off to visit Mud, unbeknownst to his so-important parents, in order to escape his crumbling home life.

Mud is far from a stable influence on this child. In fact, Mud is wanted for murder. This surprises Ellis, but I wouldn’t call it a spoiler because, hello, the man is hiding away on an island.

Don’t worry, Mud did it all for Juniper, the love of his life. Mind you, her story is awful and tragic and Mud had every right to defend her; but murder is a bit extreme, and murder causes other people to want to murder you. Specifically the father of the man you murdered, who is wealthy and powerful and scary and says things like, “Let’s have a prayer circle for the death of my son’s killer.”

Neckbone is skeptical about helping Mud escape the police. This redeems his character a bit because it demonstrates that, unlike Ellis, he has some semblance of a brain in his head. Ellis is determined to help Mud find safety. He respects Mud. He idolizes him. Most importantly, he thinks anything done in the name of love is worth fighting for. He agrees to bring Juniper to the island so she and Mud can escape together, and Neckbone helps because he wants to protect Ellis from, you know, death.

Never mind that Juniper is only onscreen for three seconds. Never mind that she is Academy Award-winner Reese Witherspoon and has about as many lines as a mime in a silent movie. Never mind that her character is so underdeveloped it’s impossible to sympathize with her. And never mind that she doesn’t actually care about Mud’s feelings at all.

Ellis has jumped on the love train, in the name of Mud’s love for Juniper, in the name of his own love for a high school girl way too old for him (I can’t even bring myself to delve deeper into that awful subplot), and in the name of the love lost between his parents  Everything is about love. Love. Nothing else matters. Not even when you’re being followed by murderers.

In this sense, Ellis reminds me of Jay Gatsby. How come I so strongly identify with Gatsby, yet I can’t connect with Ellis at all? Gatsby’s one great love, Daisy Buchanan, has broken his heart, but Ellis is far too immature to know what love means. Though the adolescent has never felt real love himself, he is willing to put his life in harm’s way. We just don’t care. Gatsby has earned his delusional dreams. Ellis and his uneven screenplay have not.

“Mud” is now playing in select theatres nationwide.