Treadmill

I am remarkably stupid, I am beyond foolish and I will regret absolutely nothing.

I’m currently running on a treadmill because it is too cold to run outside. I have all this energy with which I want to move to different places, however, I am stuck on a rubber belt as my black Nikes slam and crash against the continuous, repetitive revolutions of this exercise machine. Three and a half miles down, only half a mile left to go.

Many people come to college to learn how to do a profession, or learn a set of skills, and then they leave college, and go to their big girl and big boy jobs right out of college. If they’re happy doing this, then all the power to them.

But I am not one of these people.

I am not lazy. If I could get an internship (or even a job) doing something I care about, such as working as a journalist for a cause, then I’ll take that, however, my main priority is traveling. I will work my ass off working small jobs to pay for food and living arrangements, be a freelance writer and take portraits in my free time, and go city to city learning about new cultures, meeting new people, and seeing the world. Every 30+ year old who I tell I want to travel, tells me I need to travel while I’m young. They tell me they wished they had traveled when they were younger, but that it got to be too difficult once they had homes, mortgages, kids, jobs, etcetera. My life will never, ever be mundane. Even if I have to sacrifice security for excitement.

I am beyond thankful for my college education, but I am ready to go out and do something completely different. Nobody ever got anywhere in life without being bold and a little bit foolish.

I have applied to work in different cities, and if I could get a job doing something I care about in a faraway city, that would be nice, however, I’m moving away whether I have a job or not. I’ll get a job making coffee, waiting tables, helping out on construction sites. I guess I am kind of like that kid from Into the Wild – Christopher McCandless*.  Except I haven’t totally given up on society like he did, so I guess you and I still have something in common.

Perhaps I was born to be a nomad. I crave impermanence. I can’t stay in one place for longer than a few months before I start to lose my mind. Not Delaware, Ohio, and not my beautiful hometown 23 miles north of San Francisco. There are so many places to see that, frankly, there’s no time to settle down in one place!

It is springtime now, and it’s getting warmer outside. But I am still on the treadmill, exhausting my locomotion on this black machine of rubber, plastic, and capitulation, when I could be running outside. Quarter mile left to go.

Right now, you’re likely thinking: “But I have student loans to pay off in six months!”

I do, too. I will pay my student loans back with money I earn from being a freelance writer, a freelance photographer and with money I earn working small jobs. I will work my ass off doing everything and anything I am physically able to do. I will not let student loans get in the way of living my dream. We all need to dream big. When we were younger, did you have goals of taking an office job selling insurance policies? If yes, then all the power to ya’. Go sell insurance policies with all your heart. (Note from the author: I never judge anyone’s career or anyone for doing something that makes them happy. The only time I will ever judge you is if you do something that does not make you happy. Life is too short to not make the most of your time here. It won’t last forever.) Do something you love.

But if you had dreams bigger than staying in the closest city to your alma-mater and taking the first job that was offered to you because you were nervous about those looming student loans, then step back and realize that you need to do something that would make your ten year old self proud. That was what inspired my father to start his own business at the age of 14, and my mom to go back to school to become a real estate agent — a career she had never received any training for – at the age of 55. That’s incredible to me. She followed her dreams. She didn’t let anyone or anything stop her or get in her way, despite the market in the San Francisco Bay Area being flooded with real estate agents who have years and years of experience. She wasn’t intimidated. My dad wasn’t intimidated when he decided to invest some money he earned into owning a golf course at the age of 13.

Anything is possible if you make it so. Only you control your life. You are not a prisoner. You can do whatever you want if you set your mind to it.

It is summertime now, and I have run all four miles. I have gone the distance. I am so glad I did. And while past four miles have been filled with incredible people, beautiful memories, and I have learned so much – in terms of my major, as well as about myself, I am ready to hop off the treadmill and run outside. I am going to run far. And you won’t see me coming back around the bend for a long, long time.

 

*Christopher McCandless burned all of his possessions immediately upon graduating college, and took to a life of traveling, meeting new people, learning new cultures and experiences working small jobs to pay for his “Great Alaskan Adventure.”

The album you should be listening to, yesterday

"The Pinkprint" album cover. Photo courtesy of wikipedia.org.
“The Pinkprint” album cover. Photo courtesy of wikipedia.org.

We can all pick out Bruno Mars. But can you name his backup dancers?

For a girl once relegated to the background status, Nicki Minaj has come a long way. And now the queen of Young Money Entertainment has released her third album.

Dropped on Dec. 12, 2014, The Pinkprint sold 244,000 copies in the first week alone, and I personally think that isn’t enough. The graphic and revealing work has songs on it for everyone, whether you are looking for Lil Wayne’s subversive raps or a new pop song to nod your head to.

A list of celebrities made their way onto the album as featured artists. Some notable examples are Ariana Grande, Beyoncé, Chris Brown and Jeremih. Each of their tracks offer a different sound, but Nicki Minaj’s rapping remains a constant; she solos in every song.

Some tracks are distinctly autobiographical. In the album’s opening song “All Things Go,” she talks about her cousin who was murdered and how she had an abortion at a young age.

“‘All Things Go’ is a sober account of a wide range of personal challenges the rapper has faced in her life, from strained relationships with her family,” said Times reporter Eliza Berman.

I would recommend “Only,” which features the unstoppable crew of Drake, Chris Brown and Lil Wayne, if you are trying to disappoint your grandma. The trio came together to produce one of the more provocative and explicit songs on the album.

Give The Pinkprint a listen (hint, hint OWU radio DJs). It won’t disappoint.

In memory of Deah Barakat, Yusor Abu-Salha and Razan Abu-Salha

Left to right: Deah, Yusor and Razan. Photo courtesy of abcnews.com.
Left to right: Deah, Yusor and Razan. Photo courtesy of abcnews.com.

I’ve been afraid this would happen ever since the Charlie Hebdo attack. But I, and the nation, should have been fearing it since Sept. 11, 2001.

Three Muslim students living near the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill were murdered Tuesday night.

Their names were Deah Shaddy Barakat, Yusor Mohammed Abu-Salha and Razan Abu-Salha. They were the same ages as many of us: 23, 21 and 19.

Deah Shaddy Barakat and his wife Yusor, who graduated from nearby North Carolina State, were planning to become dentists; he’d been raising money to support Syrian refugees.

According to VICE News, their neighbor Craig Hicks turned himself in and has been charged with their murders.

VICE reports that Hicks is believed to have posted anti-religious messages on Facebook; CNN reports he is an atheist.

Facebook was how I heard about this; I saw news posts with a headline like “Three killed in shooting at UNC.”

Another school shooting, I thought. It was sad, of course, but I was hardly surprised – and what does that say about the nation we live in?

Then the details emerged.

Police have said Hicks had a dispute with his three victims over parking in the area; Dr. Mohammed Abu-Salha, Yusor and Razan’s father, says this is a hate crime and that Hicks had animosity toward his daughters and son-in-law because of their religion and culture.

It’s not certain that this was a hate crime, even in spite of the Facebook posts and Dr. Abu-Salha’s comments. And I don’t know what was in Hicks’ mind, if he is the killer.

I do know that if three devout Christians were murdered, and a Muslim man had been charged after posting anti-Christian messages on Facebook, well, there would be a media field day over that, particularly from conservative-leaning news sites.

I know that every time I checked CNN Wednesday morning, they were devoting their airtime to ISIS and their actions in the Middle East, not these murders of Americans on US soil, in their own home. They do have an online story, but that gets a lot less attention than what’s presented on screen.

After learning about these murders, my first class met with a former media coordinator with the Columbus office of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR).

She spoke about the need for balanced and humanizing depictions of Muslims in the media; her visit had been planned well in advance, but the previous night’s killing made it incredibly powerful.

As a Unitarian Universalist (UU), I am reminded of the 2008 murder of two UU members in their Knoxville Church, by a terrorist claiming to act in the name of Christianity and right-wing conservatism.

But that doesn’t compare to this; I was not a UU at the time, and it was an isolated incident; we don’t have to fear daily aggression in the same way many Muslim or Arab-appearing people do in the United States.

I am reminded of the terrorist attack against Sikhs in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, which left six dead in 2012; this attack was also carried out by a white supremacist.

I am reminded that as the news media focuses on self-proclaimed Islamic groups like ISIS and their murders of Western hostages, the overwhelming majority of their victims are Syrians and Iraqis, many of them Muslims.

I am also reminded, as Al Jazeera America has pointed out, that Mexican drug cartels have also used Christianity as a tool in the same way that ISIS uses Islam, and that they are carrying out televised, gruesome executions and general mass murder with far less media scrutiny in the United States.

On Wednesday, the Chaplain’s Office devoted their mid-week prayer service to remembering these three lives, and informed us that the community service learning office is working with Tauheed to raise funds for their charity. It’s called Project Refugee Smile, and it’ll help Syrian refugees in Turkey receive proper dental care.

And that reminds me of one last thing. Two years ago, I wrote a story about OWU students standing in solidarity with fellow students at UNC-Chapel Hill.

That time it was about sexual assault, but it’s time we stand in solidarity with UNC students again – with UNC’s Muslim community, their friends and the entire nation’s Muslim community.

Where do seniors go now?

The current 35 Williams Drive House. Photo courtesy of owu.edu.
The current 35 Williams Drive House. Photo courtesy of owu.edu.

When the news broke that the brothers of Phi Gamma Delta (Fiji) would be getting their house back, I was ecstatic. The men of Fiji worked hard and tirelessly to get their housing privileges reinstated. The house is well deserved, and Ohio Wesleyan is proud of the men.

But where am I going to live?

See, next year I’ll be a senior. 35 Williams Drive, Fiji’s (old) new home, is a senior-only housing option, as is 4 Williams. So starting in the fall of 2015, there will be only one senior-only residence hall to choose from. And there aren’t too many spaces available in 4 Williams as is.

One of my main problems with OWU is the four-year residency requirement. I understand the philosophy behind it, but that philosophy leaves seniors without the choice they deserve. Why aren’t there any exclusive places to live for seniors?

Especially for senior women. Fraternities have their houses,  which gives men the option to live in houses. But women, affiliated or not, do not have the luxury of living somewhere cool and exciting once they rise through the ranks of OWU. We have to live in the residence halls, which if you ask me, need a lot of work.

That isn’t fair. We deserve better than living in the grimy residence halls that we have lived in since our freshmen year. We deserve special treatment; we have earned seniority.

Most of my friends who do not attend OWU have the opporunity to live off campus in houses or apartments. Granted, there aren’t many places in Delaware for students to rent like there are in Madison or Milwaukee, Wis. Maybe OWU should designate certain off campus locations for senior living.

Now, I’m not advocating that OWU ship all students off campus, but I am recommending OWU let seniors off campus. OWU should buy some buildings or houses for the sole purpose of letting seniors live there.

These buildingswould still be considered OWU property and we would still pay OWU fees, but with the luxury of not living in the residence halls. Students look forward to living in 35 and 4 Williams throughout their college career. And now competition will be fiercer than normal to get one of those spots.

I’m sick of living in residence halls. No offense to OWU, but they’re gross. Yes, so are fraternities, but at least Greek men have the option to live there.

I don’t have the option to live anywhere else but the residence halls. As a rising senior, I think I should be able to have more privleges than that. I think I’ve earned it.

I’ve paid my dues at OWU.I don’t have any special privileges as a senior. Next year I could be living among freshmen for all I know.

OWU needs to have more options for senior living. Students are unhappy with the current status quo, especially me.

Even though I’m thrilled for Fiji and all they have accomplished, I’m upset at the lack of senior living options available to students, especially for female students.

OWU needs to make major changes in their housing policies in order to attract more students and to make current students happy. With the current policies in place, we cannot keep up with other schools our size, or bigger. It could turn potential students off, and I know it has left a sour taste in my mouth.

In order to satisfy the needs of students and meet the status quo of many other schools, OWU needs to let senior students, especially women, off campus. It’s only fair by that point in our college careers.

Beezin’: The New Buzz?

Photo courtesy of Soap.com.
Photo courtesy of Soap.com.

Written by: Ben Miller and Matt Cohen, arts & entertainment editor and sports editor, respectively

Frigid temperatures and brisk winds make it perfectly normal to see Burt’s Bees™ lip balm being applied to chapped lips, but a new craze is changing how college students use the nourishing mango butter formula.

The trend referred to as “beezin’” began when some thrill seeker applied BB lip balm to his or her upper eyelid. The sensation of beezin’ is described by one UrbanDictionary.com entry as “a freaky yet pleasurable tingling.”

This trend has spread to the Ohio Wesleyan campus. We’ve even seen it firsthand at parties. Parties! This raises one question in our minds: Why?

After completing some intense research, we’ve come the conclusion that this can’t possibly be good for your eyelids, eyes or reputation. Nobody sees a kid at a party applying lip wax to his eyelids and says, “Man, I want to hang out with him.” Nobody even says “man” anymore.

“The peppermint oil in the lip balm is a very strong irritant and can cause inflammation,” Dr. Brett Cauthen said in an article published by reason.com.

This brings us back to our earlier question: Why? This stupid trend can cause pink eye-like symptoms. But then again, college students will do anything to get weird on the weekends.

In the same article by Dr. Cauthen, some teens said that “beezin’” simulates the experience of being drunk or high. Let’s say this does actually get a person “high.” Do the benefits of the short-lived tingle outweigh the cost of irritating your eyes and causing damage to your dignity?

In an article published on gothamist.com, Scott Heins gives some insight into this “beezin’.” “Having Burt’s Bees™ on your eyelids feels like riding in a convertible through a mint field in January. It’s cold yet somehow comforting,” Heins wrote.

Honestly, we’re scared for our generation. What could we possibly come up with next? We’ve made it through the glue-sniffing era and the horrific cinnamon challenge epidemic, but how many lives do we have left?

Old face, new position

tran

 

I cannot believe I’m old enough to be the editor-in-chief of The Transcript. I know it sounds silly, but I still think I’m 15 years old and in high school, not a 21-year-old junior in college. My high school paper consisted of three of us, which ultimately resulted in its demise upon our graduation.

I’ve wanted to be a journalist since I was in fourth grade when I first really watched the nightly news. I wanted to be the person who gave the news. I also wanted to be a veterinarian, but that is besides the point.

Ever since I found out it was possible to be a journalist, I tried to become one. I’ve written for every publication I could get my hands on. And when looking at colleges, I made sure there was a journalism program available, which is one of the reasons why I ended up at Ohio Wesleyan University.

I cannot believe I’m at the helm of a publication that has shaped my college career for the better. Without The Transcript, I would wander aimlessly through campus without any direction whatsoever.

The Transcript has been a part of my life even before I enrolled at OWU. When I visited potential colleges, I would read each of their newspapers. And through The Transcript, I found out one of my camp friends was the daughter of one of my dad’s work friends.

I realized it was such a small world, all through this publication. All the other schools I looked at had publications, but none were of the quality of the Transcript. Nor did they have that connection like the The Transcript did.

I joined The Transcript when I was a nervous and unsure freshman. The first meeting I went to, I was intimidated by the people who surrounded me in that computer lab.

They all seemed like such journalists and like they knew what they were doing, and they would see right through my charade. I wanted to be as involved as possible, and I wrote any chance I got.

Sure, I wasn’t an amazing writer, but slowly my writing improved and I became more self-confident. With the help of my fellow reporters, I knew what questions to ask when interviewing subjects.

And those people who intimidated me with their reporting skills became such an integral part of my life. I cannot imagine them not being in my life, and I’m grateful I spoke up in those meetings.

My predecessors are among my closest friends and confidants; they are the people who made my passion for journalism grow even stronger. They push me to be a better writer, editor and person. They encourage me to branch out and tackle stories that I would normally not take on. And without them, my love for writing would not be like it is now.

I want to encourage any scared freshman that wants to write to come to our meetings. I want them to have the amazing experience and meet people who will change their lives. Don’t be intimidated like I was; you’ll find your groove and become the writer you aspire to be.

To me, The Transcript is much more than a publication. It’s a way of life; it’s a passion. It’s what you stay up all night working on, what you stress out about, what makes you feel proud of yourself.

As clichÊ as this sounds, I cannot imagine my college career without The Transcript. I know I would not be the jaded yet optimistic person I am.

Je suis “Transcript”

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The events in Paris at the headquarters for Charlie Hebdo a few weeks ago were reprehensible. The perpetrators’ disregard for human life and blatant contempt for free speech disturbs modern sensibilities. Any violence committed in the name of censorship reminds us, both as men and women and as members of the Fourth Estate, that an attack on journalism is an attack on the public.

In an attempt to summarize the philosophy of Voltaire, biographer Evelyn Beatrice Hall wrote, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

These simple words reveal a sacred truth of journalism. Regardless of the content or manner of expression, no individual or entity, has the right to suppress another’s speech. We might not agree with everything we read or see, but in keeping with the ideals of a free society, we must permit all people their voice. To put qualifications on that principle is unacceptable.

We conceded that Charlie Hebdo is a problematic publication. But problematic magazines, troublesome articles and disagreeable ideas should never be silenced in the name of neutrality. Charlie Hebdo‘s editors, cartoonists and writers aim to generate offensive and controversial content, and they have every right to do so. That is a right we, The Transcript editorial staff, know is worth defending.

We are not Charlie.

We are journalists.

The Importance of Grit

 

soapbox

By: Dr. Thomas Wolber 

As a teacher, I have long felt that intelligence is overrated. It alone does not lead to successful outcomes. Over the years I have seen many smart students fail, and I have seen students with average intelligence and sophistication do well. You do not need to be super smart to succeed. Whether you achieve your goals or not is determined less by your cognitive abilities than by noncognitive factors such as personality and grit. Character is at least as important as intellect.

You have heard the word “grit” before. These days it is widely used – in education, athletics, the military and the job market. But what exactly is it? What are the necessary components? Why is it important and why do employers seem to value it above everything else?

Let’s start with the dictionary and the original etymological meaning of the word. Like many other four-letter words of the English language, it has a Germanic origin, suggesting deep roots indeed. Grit is far removed from the French Enlightenment and modern intellectualism. You are more likely to find it in your guts than in your brain. In Old Icelandic, the word “grit” meant “stone, pebble, rock, boulder.” No wonder then the dictionary defines grit as “firmness of character, indomitable spirit, pluck” and lists “resolution, fortitude” as synonyms. Other words to describe “grit” may include ambition, dedication, determination, drive, endurance, hardiness, passion, perseverance, persistence, resilience, stamina, steadfastness, tenacity, toughness, zeal, zest and the like.

Thus, we can now define grit as “the will to act and succeed,” “the refusal to fail,” “the strength to overcome adversity,” “the tenacity to achieve long-term goals,” “the ability to face challenges,” “the capacity to set and accomplish goals,” “the capability to deal with failure,” “the determination to pull yourself through a crisis,” “fire in the belly,” and so on.

If it is your long-term goal to graduate from Ohio Wesleyan within four years and with a good GPA, then, yes, grit is definitely something you should have. Teachers agree that for educational attainment it is more important than anything else, certainly more important than mere brainpower. An average, hard-working student with a fair amount of grit will always outperform an intellectual dreamer who lacks purpose and willpower and fails to act. In my experience, grit trumps intelligence.

Grit is an individual’s most important asset. An increasing number of schools and employers agree that intelligence is an unreliable indicator of future success, which is why they value grit more and more. Yes, raw and natural talent does matter, but to become an accomplished farmer, car mechanic, athlete, translator, doctor, or musician first and foremost requires years and years of theoretical schooling and practical experience. Learning is demanding, and there are no short cuts. Studies have shown that gritty individuals work longer and harder than others, which is why they succeed where others fail.

This observation has serious implications for education and the labor market. If grit matters more than mere intelligence, why do schools continue to focus on cognitive intelligence and academic performance? Should we not equally emphasize noncognitive abilities such as emotional and social intelligence, interpersonal skills, maturity, fairness, curiosity, generosity, kindness, self-control, leadership, integrity, honesty, creativity, fearlessness, and so on?

For example, some of the smartest students go into medicine, but sometimes they sorely lack qualities such as compassion and empathy. A high IQ and phenomenal SAT and ACT scores alone mean little. Shouldn’t there be a healthy balance of cognitive and noncognitive skills? Aren’t schools setting students up for long-term failure if they don’t inculcate character development with the same zest as they do academic preparation?

We are faced with a fundamental paradox here. Academic instruction is entirely knowledge-based. A student’s transcript reflects academic performance but reveals little or nothing about that student’s personality. But the recommendation letters we teachers write for study abroad, assistantships, fellowships, employment, government jobs and graduate schools often stress entirely different qualities than those we impart in the classroom. A checklist I filled out recently listed “academic ability” as only one of 12 characteristics!

A while back, I conducted an inventory of the many noncognitive factors that employers explicitly inquire about, and I came up with a list of over 30 even though I counted things like “reliability, dependability, responsibility” as only one item. A surprising number of employers require things like “physical vitality, agility, vigor, stamina,” including “manual dexterity.” “Behavior under stress, pressure, strain” is important, and “integrity, honesty, trustworthiness” matters a lot. The list goes on and on. Ironically, however, you will not find many of these traits on academic syllabi or discussed in class. Is this something K-12 schools and colleges should have a conversation about? I have heard of schools where students graduate not only with a GPA, but also with a CPA – a character-point average. It may be hard to implement such as program, but there seems to be a certain need and demand for it.

One last point – it has been said the focus on grit alone may lead to egotism and careerism. Being too gritty can have the potential of making you insensitive to the feelings and needs of others and can lead to neglecting community, social responsibility, and the public good.

The way I see it, however, character-based education does not have to be disconnected from morality and ethics – on the contrary! Performance character and moral character are linked and complement each other. For example, there is a social stigma against performance-enhancing tricks such as corruption, cheating, and doping. Besides, the quest for fame and fortune is typically not high on the priority list of gritty individuals.

OWU’s Statement of Aims provides a good example for such a balance. It states knowledge, character (grit) and values form the basis for a liberal arts education. All three are needed to be prepared for life and to become a happy, successful human being. The foundation would be shaky indeed if any one of the three elements were missing. None can stand alone, but together they form the bedrock that will sustain you throughout life.

 

Dr. Thomas Wolber is an associate professor of German at Ohio Wesleyan.  He teaches all levels of German language, literature and civilization. In addition to those subjects, he specializes in comparative literature and environmental studies.

A bittersweet sendoff for the last issue

Logo

I start every column I’ve ever written the same way: brainstorm first, then byline, then I jump right in and just write whatever comes to mind.

This is going to be the last column I ever write for The Transcript. I usually only write these pieces because we need a space to fill, but this time is different. This time it’s personal.

I’ve written for The Transcript since the first semester of my freshman year, and I’ve been an editor for the last two years.

Even if I knew how to do math above a third grade level, there is no way to calculate the amount of late nights I’ve put in working in the Transcript office, writing last-minute, pathetic excuses for articles desperately trying to fill space.

It’s amazing I have any remaining friends for how much ranting and venting I’ve unleashed on them, blabbering on and on about faulty technology, intense ethical decision making and embarrassing editing errors (special shoutout to my infallible roommate, Maria, who always knows when I need a hug … and a bottle of wine).

With all the difficult parts of my job in mind, I was worried that when I started brainstorming for this column, it was going to come out like a whiny sob story. But then I got to my byline, and I realized that this is going to be the last time I refer to myself as the Editor-in-Chief of The Transcript.

I realized next week is the first week in two years where I don’t talk to Hannah Urano or Noah Manskar at least three times each day. I realized that I’m never again going to have our department chair, Paul Kostyu, pinch my arm and tell me to “grow a thicker skin” in response to some angry email I got that morning. I realized that the biggest part of who I’ve been on this campus for the last year is over. And I started crying a little bit.

Being the editor of the paper was hands-down the most challenging task I’ve faced at Ohio Wesleyan. From the moment I came on as editor to now, there has never been one perfect issue. There’s been no day where I left the office thinking, “Eureka!” There has never been a day where I walked out of the office thinking, “There is no way I could make the paper more perfect.”

I had to learn to let go of what I coudn’t control, and to depend on my fellow editors. None of us have an easy job, but it’s worth it.

We do this because we truly believe in a student-run newspaper. We love journalism, and we want to see it practiced on this campus. While we’ve defintitely improved our aresonal of journalism technology, we are still behind and struggle to find new writers, photographers and editors. We are a small department that has a long way to go, but we always push through. From dependable professors abruptly leaving, new professors coming on board and fundamental changes to our cirriculum, our little major has seen a huge overhaul in the last two years.

In short, no part of my career in journalism at OWU has been a cake walk. But because of that, I’m confident in saying The Transcript taught me so much more than anything else I’ve ever done. I doubted myself every step of the way as the editor for The Transcript, and now it’s over.

My emotional state is a mixed bag of pure joy and relief, as well as sadness and nostalgia. I have no idea what I’m going to do without it, but I do know that I’m going to miss it.

I never thought I would hear myself say it, but it’s true. I have the tears to prove it.