Why America should become an absolute monarchy

By: senior Luke Peters

Every red-blooded American loves freedom, right? It’s on the ideal of preserving personal freedoms that America was founded on, after all. And in the grand scheme of things, America is a pretty solid country. But with any country, there are plenty of problems. However, do not fret, as the solution is relatively simple, at least in theory: A return to absolute monarchy and an abandonment of the glorification of personal freedoms.

Speaking ethically, there are a couple different ways that one can try and quantify what is considered “good.” From a utilitarian perspective, the most morally correct course of action is whatever provides the highest amount of good to the highest number of people, whether you choose to quantify that good as happiness, pleasure, satisfaction or some other similar positive emotion. Of course, many critics of utilitarianism might argue that it doesn’t account for any sort of moral justice; the best action, for instance, might bring a high amount of happiness to immoral criminals at the expense of innocent people. This is a decent criticism, so it seems appropriate to include a sense of moral fairness alongside maximization of good when we are sketching out a rough model of basic ethics.

Notably absent from this model is the idea of autonomy, or the freedom to do as one pleases (so long as it doesn’t harm others, most would add). Many people, philosophers or otherwise, tend to include autonomy as a positive moral value. But why? There is no guarantee that allowing people to make their own decisions will bring the highest degree of good, or guarantee moral fairness. So what makes us naturally think of autonomy as a moral good, as something we ought to strive for? If someone else knows what decision you ought to make in order to maximize good and maintain moral fairness, why let you screw up that choice yourself and waste all of that potential good?

We already acknowledge parents ought to make decisions for their children when they are very young; after all, an adult knows better than a child what the right choice is. Why stop this behavior once one is no longer a child? Surely there are adults out there much better equipped to make decisions than other adults.

“But wait!” One might say. “Surely only you yourself know what is best for you? No one is more a person than the person themselves, right?” But this is of course untrue. Who is better equipped to decide which car John ought to buy, the unremarkable everyman John, or his friend who is an expert on cars? It seems commonsensical that John ought to yield to his friend’s choice, even if he think he might know better. Chances are, he doesn’t actually know better; he just lacks the knowledge to know why he is wrong.

This is the principle of paternalism, the idea of restricting someone’s freedom for their own good, and our fetishization of autonomy has given this poor ethical concept a bad rap. It is this principle that is at the backbone of why an absolute monarchy is the superior governmental system. Under a democratic republic, like the (admittedly flawed) one the United States has, the decision making power lies in the hands of the people (in theory). By voting people into power whose beliefs reflect their own, they get to shape the rules to their own liking. Now, obviously this is a little problematic because it doesn’t mean that everyone gets what they want, only that the majority gets what they want.

But this is not the problem at hand; the problem we are focusing on is the decision making power is put in the hands of the people who are in the majority, as opposed to the people that actually know what the right decision on the matter is. The problem with a democratic government is that it equates the correct decision with the decision that is most popular; doing so maximizes autonomy, as most people will be able to do what they want, but doesn’t necessarily maximize moral good.

What would maximize good, however, is not a decision made on the basis of popularity, but a decision made on the basis of correctness. In order to achieve this, the ideal laws and regulations should be those passed not by popular vote, but by a singular order by a monarch. Naturally, this monarch would have to be the person most qualified for the job, and as such must be an incredibly intelligent expert in the field of ethics, preferably the leading expert in the field. (How we would go about finding such a person is a whole different issue.) Additionally, they would be backed by a team of the very best scientists in the fields of psychology, sociology, and all the natural sciences so he might make the most informed decision possible on any such occasion.

Now, many of the laws passed under such a monarch would be unpopular, make no mistake. But in the end, such laws are decisions that have been meticulously calculated to be most likely to cause the highest amount of good, and to do so fairly and evenly. As such, any criticism of them would either be uninformed, or coming from a place of greed or entitlement. Under such a system, one can imagine many of the world’s leading problems (unfair distribution of wealth, overpopulation, environmental pollution) a thing of the past, now that the government has enough power to enforce such decisions without having to deal with pesky autonomy.

Such a utopia will likely never be achieved, at least not anytime soon. However, I encourage all those reading this to reconsider whether or not restriction of freedom really is such a negative thing; the notion of autonomy as a moral good is outdated, and we must abandon it if we hope to evolve as a society.

The numbers game

It is happening behind closed doors. But if you pay close attention to your professors, you might see worry in their faces during lecture. You might catch a mumble of dissent. You might be surprised by a long, seemingly random tangent on the value of a liberal arts education.

Ohio Wesleyan is at an impasse. The university is struggling financially, our enrollment is in decline and the administration is looking to make cuts. In what feels like a puzzling situation, professors and their departments are the target.

The situation is complicated. The middle class has struggled to recover from the 2008 economic crisis. More and more high school seniors are looking to state schools and community colleges after graduation. For many college students, and ultimately their parents, a liberal arts education does not seem worth the investment.

As a result, OWU has seen its numbers decrease. Last year, 100 less students were enrolled than typical. Though the university has replaced its admissions director and steps are being taken to attract new students, numbers are hard to predict. It won’t be until this summer that data from the class of 2019 will become available. And OWU’s fate depends on it.

Administrators are dealing with a bitter reality. The school is entering the new academic year with a deficit. Still, they are charged with keeping the university running. That means making difficult decisions, and sometimes, treating OWU like a business. But the administration is forgetting that their business is to educate. Their product is not so popular in a world where substance is valued less than flash. If they do not balance fiscally responsible choices with an empowered faculty, they are in danger of liquidating our liberal arts identity to pay off their philosophical overhead.

Departmental budgets have not been finalized for the year. But most department chairs know that reduction is on the way. This approach to saving money creates a self-defeating cycle. According to one department head, “budgets have not kept pace with inflation.” It is already difficult to create and maintain the opportunities OWU professors want to offer their students. A cut to any department means sacrificing those opportunities, things like guest lecturers, field trips and even equipment. It means some classes have to be removed from the course offerings. It means some faculty have to be let go.

Yet the administration is evaluating academic departments primarily on their numbers. According to another department head, “class enrollments seems to be the only justification for a department’s budget and hiring faculty.” If budget cuts hurt a department’s ability to attract students, the numbers for that department will go down. Then, in the next round of budget cuts, the department will get slashed again.

It is a reflection of the integrity and strength of OWU’s professors that the faculty is “remaining unified.” Many professors acknowledge that “higher education institutions throughout this country are struggling financially” and that “pointing fingers” will not solve the problem. But it is hard not to look critically at the administration in these troubling times. The faculty and academic departments should not be granted immunity. But they should definitely not be the main target of financial reform.

Administrators: when money is donated to the school without specific instructions on how to use it, give that money to the academic budget. When you are fundraising, tell donors we need funding for academics, nothing else.  Encourage our generous alumni to save the departments that got them to where they are today. And instead of hiring consultants to hone in on what makes Ohio Wesleyan OWU, ask the people that walk around campus every day for their opinion. Your students and faculty are smart. We’re creative. We have ideas.

Students: Tell the administration how you feel. Tell your professors that you sympathize with them, that you care. And if there is one message we get out, let it be this: the students will stand behind the faculty. We should donate money from the Wesleyan Council on Student Affairs’s (WCSA) student activity budget – the money that goes to clubs and other organizations – to the academic budget. There is enough to spare. Talk to your WCSA senators today. If the faculty lose the number game this summer, we lose too.

How to go on spring break and enjoy it too

By: Matt Cohen and Ben Miller

Oh spring break. You’ve been waiting for this moment since last March. She’s one of a kind. Even though it seems like other breaks from school, there’s something different about this one.

The end of the school year is in clear sight, the weather is starting to warm up (30 degrees counts as warming up these days) and we’re about to go on trips with friends that will create life-long memories. Spring break is fit for a king.

This year we decided to look into tickets to go around the world in seven days. We soon realized it was an unrealistic goal. How could you only spend one day eating croissants in France or churros in Mexico? It would just be torturing yourself.

So, we looked into the next best option, which is classic Panama City Beach in Florida. But you know, that requires so much effort. Not only do you have party nonstop to be cool, but you’ll stay up all night and spend all day on the beach. The sleep schedule would be just like it is at OWU, but sandy.

We moved on to Plan C. Going home wouldn’t be too bad, and home cooked meals are always delicious. The price is pretty fair too: nothing.

Here are some helpful tips for enjoying a hometown spring break:

Tip number one: Rekindle that high school romance. You’ve been at college for a couple years. Throw caution to the wind and text that high school crush.

Tip number two: Avoid getting arrested. Duh, right? But seriously, the “Get Out of Jail Free Card” doesn’t exist during spring break (someone please try to create this). Don’t be that guy who peaked in high school and returns home to show off in front of friends.

Tip number three: Enjoy the presence of family. Going back home is becoming more and more rare as we grow older. Even though you may be dreaming about a spring break traveling around the world or partying on the beach, the time you spend with the heroes that raised you is more important.

We may not follow all of these wise words ourselves, but you should. Spring break is here, and we’ve earned it. So whatever you end up doing, enjoy. May the odds ever be in your favor.

Female-driven comedy is needed more than ever

The stars of "Broad City." Photo courtesy of comedycentral.com.
The stars of “Broad City.” Photo courtesy of comedycentral.com.

For about 13 weeks, my favorite day is Wednesday at 10:30 p.m. It’s when my favorite show “Broad City” airs on Comedy Central. It follows Abbi and Ilana through their trials and tribulations as young women in New York City. It’s not one of those typical New York female shows, like “Sex and the City,” which I happen to love. It’s so much more.

If you’ve never seen this show, you’re majorly missing out. I think it’s one of the funniest shows out there. Abbi and Ilana are relatable; they’re young women who are working dead-end jobs while trying to figure out what they actually want to do. Every show includes some cringe-worthy moment, which makes it authentic. For example on last week’s episode, Abbi kicked a soccer ball while wearing roller skates to some cute men and fell. If that isn’t realistic, then tell me what is.

One reason why I’m so drawn to “Broad City” is because of its realistic approaches to sex, love and being young and naive. Both Abbi and Ilana encounter some unsavory situations concerning sex and relationships, but the way they handle these experiences is what makes the show brilliant. They’re frank and honest with each other and themselves, which in my experience is completely realistic. I mean, I’m not as funny as they are, but I’m working on it.

Another Comedy Central show (who would have thought Comedy Central would be such a trailblazer?) that I love is “Inside Amy Schumer.” Another female-driven show, but instead of a single story a week, Schumer’s show is a series of sketches interspersed with some of her hilarious stand-up comedy. Schumer talks about everything from sex to food to diets to therapy. I’ve seen every episode of both seasons of “Schumer” so many times I can recite some of the skits verbatim. Another strong woman in comedy not trying to be something she’s not. Yes, her comedy is more female-centric, but plenty of men find it relatable and hilarious.

If you ask me, these two shows are very important for women in 2015. Why? Because these are women who aren’t afraid of being funny; who aren’t afraid of talking about uncomfortable sexual situations or periods or typical “female” things. They aren’t trying to be “cool girls,” the girls who were made famous, rather, infamous, in that passage from “Gone Girl.” They’re authentically themselves, which comes across in their comedy. Their vulgar and stupid, but not because they’re trying to impress some guy or seem “cool”; they’re doing it because they can be stupid. They’re being vulgar because guess what? Women are vulgar; women are stupid. And these shows don’t hide it.

Female driven comedy is more important than ever now. With the unfortunate cancellation of “Parks and Recreation” with the amazing Amy Poehler (who is actually a producer of “Broad City”) there is definitely a growing chasm between male and female comedians. I mean, when Jon Stewart announced his retirement, the first person I thought of replacing him was Jessica Williams, a correspondent on the “Daily Show.” And on the “Saturday Night Live” 40th anniversary show, the strongest players in my opinion were the women. But it seems as though the television higher ups never realize it and end up hiring another white male.

Luckily, with “Broad City,” “Inside Amy Schumer,” Tina Fey’s new Netflix comedy “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” and the brilliant “The Mindy Project” by Mindy Kaling, I think female driven television comedies are making a strong presence in the media. These strong, funny women are needed to show young girls and women it’s okay to be stupid and silly, because it’s normal. And it’s okay to be funnier than men and not to hide your style of humor. These women are people that I look up to; to learn from my mistakes with. Now only if there was that much progress in the movie industry with giving meaty roles to women in films. But that’s another issue on itself.

Sugar may be sweet, but Maroon 5’s newest album is sweeter

Maroon 5's album titled "V." Photo courtesy of ivocabrera.com.
Maroon 5’s album titled “V.” Photo courtesy of ivocabrera.com.

Maroon 5’s latest album, V, was released on Aug. 29, 2014. It sold 164,000 copies in just the first week; the album has a mix of fun dance songs to some emotional, calm songs.

A couple notable songs on this album include “Maps,” “Animals” and my personal favorite, “Sugar.”

“Sugar” is a catchy song that is good for any occasion, and the music video that goes along with it makes me like the song so much more.

Adam Levine and his band drive around Los Angeles and go to different weddings. Without the happy couples knowing, the band gets on stage that is covered by a sheet. When the sheet drops Maroon 5 is singing their newest hit “Sugar.”

The couple’s faces are the best part of this video; it is sure to give any viewer chills. Who wouldn’t freak out if Maroon 5 appeared at your wedding?

The video was released on Jan. 14, 2015 and David Dobkin directed it. Dobkin might not sound like a well-known name, but if you’ve seen the movie Wedding Crashers, this is the man who directed it.

The video has been trending on Facebook and YouTube throughout this past month. It has received more than 146 million hits in February alone. If you haven’t had a chance to see this video I would highly recommend checking it out.

Fifty Shades of “what the hell”

By: Matt Cohen and Ben Miller

fifty 1
Photo courtesy of eonline.com.

So, you were alone on Valentines Day? Well, we were too.  And we are no relationship experts, but I’m sure our experiences will draw some helpful lessons. Maybe.

Being alone really isn’t such a bad thing. No gifts means our bank accounts didn’t take a hit, no dinner dates mean we had a delicious yet affordable meal at White Castle and no disgusting candy hearts.

This Hallmark holiday has a way of making any sane person feel bad about themselves for not having a valentine, but lets be honest, it is more of a struggle then its worth.

We tried to do the least romantic and manliest things we could think of. Some that worked well in the past were howling like a wolf on top of a mountain, chopping down trees, and catching fish with our bare hands.

Alternatively, if you do not have access to this wilderness of masculinity, you could go see “Fifty Shades of Grey” with some of your buddies. It really isn’t that weird. Okay, it’s pretty weird.

We got a couple friends together and saw this “romantic” film on Valentine’s Day. I can’t believe I just typed that sentence, but it’s true.

It was a pretty awkward experience overall. Walking into the theatre with four guys sounds awkward enough, but try that after being carded because we apparently look under 17. It also didn’t help that we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

If you are looking for a disturbing plot line with an amazing soundtrack, this is the movie for you.

Ellie Goulding and The Weeknd highlight the movie’s soundtrack with hits that will be stuck in your head for the next couple of days – as will some unpleasant mental images, we’re sure. Nonetheless, the Fifty Shades soundtrack will definitely make a great addition to your sex playlist.

Besides the music and the dramatic billionaire life, most of the movie is centered on people being naked. Normally, a group of 20 year old guys wouldn’t complain about a little tasteful nudity on film but this was just plain uncomfortable. And it really wasn’t just a little nudity.

The characters were interesting enough, although Anastasia (the main female character) was missing some key background information. We’re sure she’s portrayed with more clarity in the books.

Christian Grey, who apparently has singular (not unlike his taste) commitment issues, is a boss. Who wouldn’t want their name on a personal helicopter and have an amazing loft with a view of downtown Seattle? It sounds very nice, and it would be if Grey wasn’t insane.

He is very creepy, to say the least, and somehow knows where Anastasia is at all times. Stalkerish, really. But hey, it seems like it’s okay if you’re a handsome billionaire. He really isn’t a good boyfriend, or a good person, for that matter.

The movie was left at a cliffhanger, which of course makes most viewers interested in seeing the next one. Not all viewers, meaning us, but there is definitely plans for a sequel and even a third one.

If you’re planning on taking your mom out to a movie like any good son would, steer clear of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I repeat, steer clear. Unless you’re looking for a very uncomfortable experience – in that case, go for it.

Why I am not seeing “Fifty Shades of Grey”

"Fifty Shades of Grey" movie poster. Photo courtesy of opi.com.
“Fifty Shades of Grey” movie poster. Photo courtesy of opi.com.

I am by no means above seeing a bad movie. Bad movies are some of the most entertaining movies. The poorly constructed plots, the awkward acting, the supremely cheesy wink-wink-nudge-nudge humor – it’s all great.

At first I thought that perhaps Fifty Shades of Grey could be this movie, and I’m sure that attracted many viewers to the box office. But Fifty Shades is not a good-natured, comically-terrible, bad movie; it is just a bad movie in every sense of the word.

I have not seen the movie, nor will I ever, and yet I feel perfectly confident pronouncing this judgment on it. Any defense of Fifty Shades in its original form is completely tarnished by the creation of a theatrical version. The guilty pleasure of a steamy romance can be hidden in the backlight of an e-reader, not on a 55-foot theater screen.

From a novel that earned its fan base through explicit sex scenes, an NC-17 rating would seem apt for its theatrical counterpart. And yet the lead male actor, Jamie Dornan, refused to be filmed completely nude (it seems perfectly fine for the female lead, Dakota Johnson, to bare it all though).

Fifty Shades is a story (if it can even be called one) that values and promotes severely unhealthy BDSM – Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM) – relationships, as well as sexual abuse. The character of Christian Grey is meant to be a strong, manly man who knows exactly what he wants and hates the word “no.” Confidence is sexy, dominating attitudes can be sexy too, but one of the core principles in BDSM relationships is the presence of respect. People who participate in BDSM practices value “safe words.” This is a word or words that basically mean “stop, immediately.” Safe words ensure safety and enjoyment for everyone involved. Christian Grey introduces the character Anastasia Steele to BDSM, and yet refuses to acknowledge her safe words or maintain her security.

Partially I feel bad for shaming this enterprise, especially when the largest portion of the Fifty Shades fans identify as women. It is so valuable for women to feel comfortable expressing their sexuality and sexual preferences and to be excited about talking about sex without feeling guilt. Too often is the space for sexual discussion reserved for men. But my issues with the film and the message of the story itself strongly outweigh any benefits it may have.